Mom

Many of you who read this got an email from me last week describing the situation going on with mom this past week or two.  But some of you may not have, so I thought I'd update the blog while I have a minute.

After a 4+ year battle with uterine cancer, which has included 4 surgeries, 2 summers of chemotherapy, 1 of radiation, a total pelvic exeneration (i.e. they took out half her intestines, her bladder and more), countless medications, needle sticks, hospital stays, CT and PET scans, IV drips, and the like...  the Lord has made it evident that He is going to take mom home very soon.

She went into the hospital on Memorial Day in excruciating pain, had another scan, and got the results 1 week ago that the cancer is growing fast, spreading, and starting to shut down her organs.  She is home now, with lots of pain medicine and Hospice care, and just spending however long she has with friends and family gathered around.

I've been off work last week and this week between jobs, which shows one small piece of God's perfect timing - that I could be with her during this time.  My dad has taken off work indefinitely, and my sister has been able to work partial days and see mom more too.  Many family members are flying in all this week to see her one more time, and so far she has been managing ok at home (on LOTS of meds).

My beautiful mom in the middle, with our family, at the beach last September.  This was shortly after the 5th recurrence of cancer, which we thought was going to be the last time at that point.  But God had another 9 months planned for her, and a new pair of drugs made that possible from then until now.  But the cancer has now outrun the drugs and God is completing the work He started in her, to bring her home to spend eternity with Him.

Mom and me at Christmas this past year.  We were so thankful to have one more Christmas with her, since last fall we didn't think she would make it that long.

Mom with Paisley when we picked her out around Thanksgiving '06.  She was so excited to give me my little girl for Christmas that year, and be a "grandma" to her :).

Right now my emotions are varied...  

I'm hit with waves of unbearable, desperate sadness.  

I go through times of sweeter mourning with mom or with family members, thinking of all the things we will remember about her and carry with us.  

I feel numb some of the time and can't even process what is happening.  

I remember to rejoice for mom, because she will soon be restored and made whole - free from all this pain, disease and crying - worshipping our Lord in His presence forever.  

I question how I am going to go through life without her, the person who knows me best and loves me most in this world.

I don't have much else to say right now, but I'm going to be treasuring every moment I have with my sweet mom, and knowing the Lord will bring us all through this, for His glory.