8.19.2008
New look
I finally decided to redecorate after seeing so many other people's cute blog backgrounds. And I do plan to post something interesting as soon as I find the time! Hopefully pictures of Wade's new bright green classroom and my cousin Sarah's move-in day in Chapel Hill.
8.11.2008
1 Year Anniversary
Today, August 11, 2008, Wade and I celebrate our one-year dating anniversary! One year ago, we were at the lake with some of my friends from church and finally made it official that we were dating :).
Here we are at the lake house. We were playing a goofy game of Family (I think that's what it's called) and it was very hot & sticky (the weather, that is... and us, I guess, as a result).
At the lake, glowing from happiness... or sweat.
The next day at lunch after church - we were so cool.
I could never have imagined what a perfect fit God could give me in Wade. We love being with each other and often say how glad we are that the other one is as goofy as we are. We've gotten through a lot already, from 9 months of long distance to Carolina/Duke rivalries during basketball season, to losing my precious mom.
We've gardened, we've hiked, we've eaten (a lot. of ice cream.), we've watched movies, we've taken Sunday naps, we've cried, we've laughed, we've been obsessed with The Office and Arrested Development, we've discussed job prospects and finances, we've fallen asleep on the phone together, we've prayed, we've babysat together, we've established our very different paces of walking and styles of smoothies, and we've spent time with both of our families.
I'm so excited for the things we will experience in the coming year, whatever they may be.
I love you Wade!
Here we are at the lake house. We were playing a goofy game of Family (I think that's what it's called) and it was very hot & sticky (the weather, that is... and us, I guess, as a result).
At the lake, glowing from happiness... or sweat.
The next day at lunch after church - we were so cool.
I could never have imagined what a perfect fit God could give me in Wade. We love being with each other and often say how glad we are that the other one is as goofy as we are. We've gotten through a lot already, from 9 months of long distance to Carolina/Duke rivalries during basketball season, to losing my precious mom.
We've gardened, we've hiked, we've eaten (a lot. of ice cream.), we've watched movies, we've taken Sunday naps, we've cried, we've laughed, we've been obsessed with The Office and Arrested Development, we've discussed job prospects and finances, we've fallen asleep on the phone together, we've prayed, we've babysat together, we've established our very different paces of walking and styles of smoothies, and we've spent time with both of our families.
I'm so excited for the things we will experience in the coming year, whatever they may be.
I love you Wade!
8.08.2008
Busyness
It has been kindof a crazy week - or two - here in the Land of Kimness. What have I even been doing? I can't remember.
My cousin Sarah came to visit Wednesday night & Thursday of this week to shadow me and my sister at our jobs and ask us questions about college, majors, jobs, etc. She's going to be a Carolina freshman in one week! I'm so excited for her, and hoping to relive college a little bit through her :). I'm already planning on helping with her move-in to Craige North next Saturday. We already told her to go ahead and forget about going to basketball games this year and give all her tickets to us... you think she'll go for it?
I'm trying to figure out the best schedule for myself again, for work, working out, cooking, seeing friends & Wade, etc. I used to work out in the morning (several years ago) and worked 9:30-6:30 at the Girl Scouts. Then I hit a wall where I couldn't get myself up at 5:30 a.m. to work out anymore, so I shifted my work hours to 8-5 and worked out in the evening. The bad part of that is having to take 2 showers a day and being tempted to skip working out after a long day at work or if other fun plans came up (although I'm also tempted to skip working out at 5:30 a.m. too!).
Now my hours at the church are 8:30-5, so if I can manage to get up at 5:30 and work out, I'll have the WHOLE evening from 5:00 on to do anything I want! I can come home, take Paisley out to run around, water my plants, chat with neighbors, cook a whole dinner and still eat at a reasonable time! That concept is lovely to me. It does, however, mean getting to bed at 10 p.m., which is hard to stick to. I only managed to do it twice this week, but I'm going to keep trying.
And for anyone who wondered whether it's true... it is. Not having a mom leaves a huge void in your life and heart. It's this need that you know will never be fulfilled again. Like one third of my soul is gone or something. It's been more than a month now, and the time has just passed me by somehow.
I don't know how I'm grieving exactly, other than crying in the car when I'm driving somewhere and talking about it with friends. I would like to journal more, but haven't carved out the time yet. It's really hard to work at all the relationships that are now my responsibility to maintain, instead of mom's. It's like the hub of the wheel is gone and I have to make sure all the spokes are still connecting and holding together. It honestly feels like I'm still waiting for her to come back. I'm not trying to be in denial - it just hasn't computed all the way yet. And I have to trust that that's in God timing, not mine. Plus I don't know what it looks like to feel that way anyway.
My cousin Sarah came to visit Wednesday night & Thursday of this week to shadow me and my sister at our jobs and ask us questions about college, majors, jobs, etc. She's going to be a Carolina freshman in one week! I'm so excited for her, and hoping to relive college a little bit through her :). I'm already planning on helping with her move-in to Craige North next Saturday. We already told her to go ahead and forget about going to basketball games this year and give all her tickets to us... you think she'll go for it?
I'm trying to figure out the best schedule for myself again, for work, working out, cooking, seeing friends & Wade, etc. I used to work out in the morning (several years ago) and worked 9:30-6:30 at the Girl Scouts. Then I hit a wall where I couldn't get myself up at 5:30 a.m. to work out anymore, so I shifted my work hours to 8-5 and worked out in the evening. The bad part of that is having to take 2 showers a day and being tempted to skip working out after a long day at work or if other fun plans came up (although I'm also tempted to skip working out at 5:30 a.m. too!).
Now my hours at the church are 8:30-5, so if I can manage to get up at 5:30 and work out, I'll have the WHOLE evening from 5:00 on to do anything I want! I can come home, take Paisley out to run around, water my plants, chat with neighbors, cook a whole dinner and still eat at a reasonable time! That concept is lovely to me. It does, however, mean getting to bed at 10 p.m., which is hard to stick to. I only managed to do it twice this week, but I'm going to keep trying.
And for anyone who wondered whether it's true... it is. Not having a mom leaves a huge void in your life and heart. It's this need that you know will never be fulfilled again. Like one third of my soul is gone or something. It's been more than a month now, and the time has just passed me by somehow.
I don't know how I'm grieving exactly, other than crying in the car when I'm driving somewhere and talking about it with friends. I would like to journal more, but haven't carved out the time yet. It's really hard to work at all the relationships that are now my responsibility to maintain, instead of mom's. It's like the hub of the wheel is gone and I have to make sure all the spokes are still connecting and holding together. It honestly feels like I'm still waiting for her to come back. I'm not trying to be in denial - it just hasn't computed all the way yet. And I have to trust that that's in God timing, not mine. Plus I don't know what it looks like to feel that way anyway.
7.23.2008
Life, of late
I feel like I need to post something, not to move away from remembering mom, but kindof... Just to process life and know that it is still going on. And it has been going on, pretty busily - just with a void and emptiness without mom's presence.
- A week or two ago, my aunt/uncle/cousins got a little yellow lab puppy named Maggie. They got her at 8 weeks old, and about 9 pounds... SO cute. I wish I had pictures, but when I went to visit I only had my cell phone with me and she wouldn't look at the camera phone or even let me get near with it (not that I would have known how to upload the pictures I did take). I'll have to take Paisley over to meet her once Maggie has all her shots, and then maybe I'll have pictures.
- Last Friday night, Wade and I babysat for my friends Lindsay & Adam's 7-month-old Caleigh and her 1-year-old friend Maggie. It was so fun because they are the cutest little girls. The funniest thing (and kindof scary) was that Lindsay & Adam had put their dog Bailey (a boxer mix) out on the porch because she really doesn't like strangers and especially Maggie. So Bailey is baring her teeth and barking ferociously on the other side of the glass, and Maggie is just banging on the windows and laughing her head off at this dog. It was probably better than her being really upset the whole time, but it was a little disturbing that she wasn't at all afraid of this dog lunging & barking at her.
- Saturday I went to a pool party with my friend Marcy, which was fun and relaxing, then a Christmas-in-July birthday party for one of Wade's roommate. After that Wade and I went downtown to meet up with his roommate from this past year at Covenant who was in town for the evening. It was so fun to see him, and funny to be the "outsider" to a different group of friends recounting college stories and old jokes. Now I see what other people experience when they crash our Carolina reunions :).
- Other than that, I've been trying to get my homeowners' association to take care of a problem with drainage I have at my condo - namely, the area outside my front door floods and fills with mud every time it rains, and 4 times now it has flooded under the front door into my house. I'm enjoying my job at Christ Covenant too, and excited for Wade to start teaching in just a matter of weeks!
That's about all for now... hopefully I'll have some pictures of something fun soon :).
7.11.2008
Mom, Remembered
We had a wonderful memorial service for mom this morning, where God was honored and His Word was preached clearly and unabashedly - exactly what she wanted. The graveside service with our family was really special, and the cemetery where her ashes are now buried is just beautiful. It's so mom. A lot of it looks just like her backyard, with natural areas, trees, bushes, flowers and benches. She's buried right next to Hope Stout, a 13-year-old girl who died of cancer several years ago and was in the news for her "make-a-wish" being that all the other kids got their wishes.
Hundreds came to celebrate mom's life, and more importantly the life of Christ she is inseparable from. For those who wanted the words to the poem I read, here they are... Mom wrote this for me before I graduated from high school 8 years ago:
God chose you for His very own before all time began.
He spoke your name and formed your soul forever in His plan.
God's plans for us are certain; they're not a passing whim.
He placed you in my life and heart, my precious daughter Kim.
Trust the Lord for everything, though you can't understand.
His ways are not like our ways; His plan is not our plan.
Seek His face and read His Word; spend time alone with Him.
Then spread His love to all you meet, my precious daughter Kim.
Give God your gifts and weaknesses, for when you can't, He can.
He has a purpose for your life forever in His plan.
Delight each day in His love for you and return that love to Him.
I thank God every day for you, my precious daughter Kim.
7.06.2008
Update
Visitation will be Tuesday, July 8 from 5-8 pm at the funeral home, Harry & Bryant, on Providence Road.
The service will be Thursday, July 10 at 11:30 am at Christ Covenant Church in Matthews.
Come and be touched by mom's life if you'd like :).
7.05.2008
It's finished.
Linda Johns
February 26, 1951 - July 4, 2008
Mom went home to be with the Lord about 9:45 tonight. It's been a very long few days, not to mention the weeks, months and years leading up to now... But praise God that she is out of pain - no more cancer, no more nausea, no more drugs & needles.
I love you so much, mom - more than I could EVER express with words or actions. You've been the best mom in the entire world, and you've touched everyone who knew you with your sweet spirit, warmth, and especially your unwavering faith in our Lord. We'll see you again!
Thank you all so much for your prayers for me and my family over the last weeks, months, and even years. We decided Mom "went out with a bang" on the 4th of July. My dad, sister, brother-in-law, and I were all there with her at her bedside. She had been unresponsive for 22 hours or so, just breathing shallowly and finishing the race. All day, we had all been holding her hands, talking to her and telling her how much we loved her and that it was ok to let go now.
Around 9:30, my dad started talking close to her ear about how much he loved her, all the people waiting for her in heaven, how we were going to take care of her garden and everything here for her and we were going to be ok, and things like that, and her breathing and heart rate just slowed and slowed until she was gone, while he was still talking. It was really heart-wrenching, but special too.
It's hard to let it sink it that this whole battle is over and she's completely free of suffering and pain FOREVER now. It's overwhelming and relieving, like a huge burden has been lifted and at the same time a huge hole has been gouged in my heart. Right now, the grief is a little stronger than the joy, but the joy is still there for her - dancing on the streets of gold, completely whole and new.
I don't know yet when funeral services and things will be, but I will let you all know for anyone who wants to come. Thanks again for everyone's prayers and support - it means a lot to me and our family.
Around 9:30, my dad started talking close to her ear about how much he loved her, all the people waiting for her in heaven, how we were going to take care of her garden and everything here for her and we were going to be ok, and things like that, and her breathing and heart rate just slowed and slowed until she was gone, while he was still talking. It was really heart-wrenching, but special too.
It's hard to let it sink it that this whole battle is over and she's completely free of suffering and pain FOREVER now. It's overwhelming and relieving, like a huge burden has been lifted and at the same time a huge hole has been gouged in my heart. Right now, the grief is a little stronger than the joy, but the joy is still there for her - dancing on the streets of gold, completely whole and new.
I don't know yet when funeral services and things will be, but I will let you all know for anyone who wants to come. Thanks again for everyone's prayers and support - it means a lot to me and our family.
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