Are you dating a player?

From MSN.com, here's an evaluation of the men/man in your life:

5 signs you could have a player on your hands…

He’s bold.
For the player, the pickup is a game. He doesn’t approach women with the same nerves or awkwardness of a normal guy. He’ll walk up confidently, with a big smile and great eye contact. His manner will be smooth and put-together. This doesn’t mean you should look for the opposite — a stuttering wreck — but be wary of a guy who acts completely bulletproof. A little anxiety is natural. Wade - he was bold enough to impress me with his confidence, not so bold that he seemed like it was a game to him.

He declares his feelings right away.
Players employ a “fast come-on,” according to Dr. Kalish, making sweeping statements of affection (e.g., “You’re the most perfect woman I’ve ever met”) from the word go. These declarations can feel very welcome, especially if you’ve been in a string of relationships that lacked such intimacy. Just remember that true closeness takes time, and it’s normal for a guy to be more guarded about his emotions. Wade - he says those things now, but didn't lay it all out there from the very start.

He always plans romantic dates.
Dating for the player is kind of a performance art. And he’s going to be good at it. “He won’t just bring a box of chocolates,” Dr. Kalish warns. “He’ll take you to a state fair and offer to share cotton candy.” Nice guys can be romantic, too, but life with them won’t always feel like a John Cusack movie. Non-stop rooftop picnics and weekends at the cottage could be too much. Wade - he plans romantic dates, yes, but not in the grandiose movie screen sense, more of the active hiking in the mountains or relaxed candles and movie at home sense.

He has lots of acquaintances, no close friends.
The player tends to be a lone wolf. That doesn’t mean he lacks for drinking buddies. The same way he charms women, he can charm lots of people in his life. The key is that, in friendship as in romance, his affections run broad but not deep. If solid pals are hard to come by with this guy, consider yourself warned. Wade - he does have more acquaintances than super close friends, but he also readily acknowledges it.

He’s a thrill seeker.
A guy who spends his spare time looking for a rush — fast driving, bungee jumping, kite-boarding, heli-skiing — should give you pause. This type, says Dr. Kalish, craves the high that comes from conquering a difficult challenge, and that goes for his relationship goals as well. Once he’s “conquered” you, your allure may quickly fade. Wade - he likes adventure definitely, but doesn't seem to be out to conquer every dangerous sport and crazy activity there is.


And 5 signs he’s just a nice, upstanding guy...

He’s goofy.
The sincere suitor is not suave. He doesn’t always say the right thing. It may sound weird to go into a date hoping for a pratfall, but it’s not a bad thing. “Believe me,” Dr. Kalish says. “The false charmer does not trip. He knows where his feet are at all times.” Wade - his goofiness is one of my favorite qualities about him, because I'm just as goofy and we laugh our heads off with each other.

He remembers personal details and events.
It’s the most basic way to show someone you care—by learning about his or her life and interests. Players can’t be bothered with this. One of the most common complaints Dr. Kalish fielded about false charmers was that they failed to show up at important events. “They are narcissists,” she says. “Dating is all about them.” Trifling as it sounds, if a guy remembers to bring over your favorite ice cream or shows up at your pal’s birthday party, he might just be a keeper. Wade - he remembers our month anniversaries, special songs, special date moments, what kind of music/movies/etc. I like...

He treats his mama right.
Generally speaking, a loving family begets a loving person, and the opposite is also true. Dr. Kalish often heard about alcoholism in the families of insincere boyfriends. While this might incite an understandable desire for you to reach out and help, you should also be cautious. The wounded outcast who is betrayed by his parents makes a hot lead in a soap, but not the best boyfriend. Try the good-hearted guy who flies home for his mom’s birthday instead. Wade - he told me before I met his mom that she was THE nicest person in the whole world, and he calls home and plays board games with his family on vacation and definitely treats his mama right.

He can mingle.
“The sincere guy doesn’t mind being in a room with people who are more accomplished than he is,” Dr. Kalish says. Conversely, the player wants to be in situations that will glorify only himself, especially around his woman. He doesn’t want to listen to another man’s interesting story. A loving guy, on the other hand, can mix with others even when he’s not the star of the show, and actually enjoys learning things from them. Wade - he loves to mingle and can carry on a conversation with anyone, including my family, my college friends, my church friends and pastor, my coworkers, my roommate, you name it.

He says, “I love you.”
As fawning as a player’s affections are, there’s still something sacred about the L-bomb. Kalish found that insincere men would say, “I want to grow old with you,” or “I want to have children with you,” but “I love you” remained somehow off limits. A guy who says those three magic words may very well mean them. Wade - he said I love you for the first time when I visited him the last weekend in September, and definitely took it seriously because he thought about saying it before but wanted to make sure it was right. And he still says it often.

Looks like God blessed me with a pretty great guy! I love you sweetheart!